Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize