i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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