apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
