I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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