What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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