Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
