he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
