Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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