I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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