We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
