google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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