My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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