i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
