youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
