i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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