So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
