Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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