i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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