If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
