i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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