So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
