Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
