david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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