Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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