just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize