Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
