he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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