he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
