Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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