remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
