I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Boobs are out for the taking
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Randomize
