It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
