Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
