last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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