If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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