i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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