I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Drunk is not a location!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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