So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
