is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
