so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
