I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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