I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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