did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
