every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
