I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
