But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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