Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
