I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
