well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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