dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
