someone threw a dead crab at me
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
handjob tips. give me some.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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