i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
