FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We left the knife in your bed.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
