They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
