Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
