I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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