Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Floor bacon is actually really good
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
