apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
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separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
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Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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