I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
