Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My hand turned me down
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
