shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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