margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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